Ozzy Bites Head Off of a … Duck?

“Crazy, but thats how it goes
Millions of people living as foes
Maybe its not to late
To learn how to love
And forget how to hate”

Those were the words Ozzy Osbourne sang before he bit the head off of a live bat during a concert way back in the 80′s.

It’s unclear whether Ozzy was learning how to love bat heads, sushi style, or whether he was trying to forget the hate he felt for his mother by gnawing on a little bat lollipop.

Either way one thing was clear, this stunt had the effect of propelling Ozzy to near god status on the youth of the world. To this day, it continues. Take for instance Ozzie, a Staffordshire terrier, that tried to one up the Prince of Darkness by chomping down a whole duck…well a whole rubber duck.

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Missing A Pig? Check the Local Shelter

OK, which one of you lost a pig last weekend? It shouldn’t be hard to remember, the pig weighs 500 lbs and hogs most of the bed it shares with you.

The Charleston Animal Society wants to reunite with its owner a stray pig found in Adams Run or find him a new home.

The adolescent male, which is tan with black spots, had been seen wandering around the area for about a week, said Kay Hyman, society director of outreach and communications.

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Kitten Fails to Impress MMA Veteran

This video reminds me of the first Indiana Jones flick when Indy runs into the machete carrying goon on the streets.  The goon shows how nimble and quick he is by putting on a nunchuck type show with his swords before deciding to attack our hero. But before that happens, Indy takes out his gun, gives the camera a “You gotta be kidding me” look and just shoots the guy.

I’ll let you be decide if you feel the same way.

Take that you wanna be machete carrying kitten!!

 Click here if you don’t see the video.

 

Pentagon Prepares for Cat Fight

We’re in the middle of the 2008 presidential race and we’re all having to listen to how both candidates will clean up Washington, making this country a lean, mean economic and social justice machine. Blah, blah, blah…

I say blah, blah, blah because I need proof that things are going to change. I challenge the candidates to convince me via actions, not worthless words. A good place to start is by putting an end to this experiment.

The Pentagon’s crash program to create an artificial brain is just about up and running. And, if it all goes as planned, we could see an electronic chip that mimics the “function, size, and power consumption” of a cat’s cortex some time in the next decade.

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Manatee Loose Near Big Apple

We haven’t seen this much hysteria over fish in NY since the movie Splash came out. I’m sure I’m not the only dog that  thought Darryl Hannah looked scrumptious in that flick. In fact, my mouth waters just thinking about dabbing that fish tail in some savory sauce and downing it with a bowl of sea water. Anyway, enough about me, here’s what’s happening on the island that is long.

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Commisioner and Horse Suck Face in Public

I have to be honest with you.  When I saw the picture on the left I immediately thought, “What an ass!” No, I wasn’t talking about the horse, but rather the commissioner.

With millions of dogs out there, purportedly man’s best friend, this guy decides to give his love and affection to an upgraded model of a burrow? There has to be more to it, and it turns out there was.

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Monkey Wants to Work 9 to 5

I’m not a working dog. Never have been and never will be. But I do sympathize with those who have to trudge to work on a daily basis. You know, like those sheepdogs who punch a clock every day…just to watch those darn sheep and keeping that wiley coyote from stealing them. My heart goes out to Sam and Ralph.

So when I saw this story about a monkey using the Tokyo commuter trains, my heart went out to him too. Let’s face it, a country monkey trying to make it in the big city is sad on many levels; an indictment on society today.

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Turtles Dine at Vinnies

Never let it be said that Mother Nature doesn’t have a plan. The instincts she imparts upon all the creatures of the world are flawless, geared to the survival of creatures great and small.

It’s like the instinct I have for patience. I can out stare and out wait my parents until I get what I want.  Why, just this morning I managed to get some newly fried up bacon put into my kibble, just by refusing to eat what was initially presented to me. By the way, it was turkey bacon. If somebody could tell me what’s wrong with my parents, I’d appreciate it.

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Homeowners Raise Own Cattle for Food

Them British sure do some odd things. Take for example them using the word boot to describe the trunk of a car. A boot is what my parents put on my foot to keep me from sliding across the hardwood floors. Frankly, a boot sucks…whether you’re wearing one or in one.

But that’s not the point of this story…it’s about British families raising miniature cattle to save money.

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Who’s Smarter: Dog or Baby?

I’m sick and tired of humans saying dogs are no more intelligent than a human baby.

Let me set the record straight, it’s not true. In fact it is totally without merit. Propaganda by the two legged beasts, at best.

Don’t believe me? Just check out this video.

Now try to tell me the dog didn’t pwn that baby. Remember, first we dominate in the house, and then the world becomes ours.

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