Humans Outsourced by Dogs

I’m amazed at the changes that have happened in society since I first put paw on earth. When I was a pup, all we were used for was fetching the paper, chasing the cat and barking at the mailman.

Times have changed. Now we’re allowed to lead blind people into traffic, solve crimes in forensic units and sniff out bombs in remote locales of the world.

But it’s not just high profile jobs we’re taking on, but mundane ones as well. Take, for instance, letting kids read to us, having old people pet us and letting vet trainees express our anal glands in college.

With all these opportunities available to us, there shouldn’t be a dog without a job that wants one. Personally, I don’t want one, but you’re more than welcome to take advantage of this latest opening in Australia.

In Southern Queensland, man’s best friend has successfully solved the staff shortage at a feedlot near Meandarra.

Ian Becker says while many operations are finding it hard to get workers and often have a high staff turnover, he has found a team of dogs that gets the job done.

If he’s worried about high staff turnover, I’d recommend staying away from hiring sheep dogs. Those guys are lazy, and usually only work long enough until they’ve saved up enough to buy a six pack of frosty paws. Then you won’t see them again for a month.

“The dogs that I use are probably regarded as softer dogs, dogs that use their brain instead of brawn,” he says.

“I’ve just got to teach them how to drive feed trucks and press keyboard buttons I guess, then I’ll be laughing.”

It’s best he doesn’t show us canines how to operate a feed truck. Let’s face it, if we knew how, the last thing we’d do is drive it back to the feedlot.