Dog Saves Owner from Quicksand Death
August 31 | 6 Comments
Color me skeptical.
That’s my reaction to today’s story about a hero dog. I know it’s in my best interest to promote the heroes among the canine class, but I have to keep my integrity intact if I’m to continue to serve the faithful readers out there.
Let’s be honest, would there be anything worse than compromising my honor and then being compared to cats that shill for the local 9-lives club? I guess being part of the club would be worse, but that’s about it.
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Monkey Arrested for Spreading Love
August 28 | Hmmm...No Comments Yet
I love The Monkees.
Many a morning I’ve woken up and howled the familiar lyrics:
“Hey, hey I’m a Monkey.
I’m always Monkeying around.
But I’m too busy howling,
To put that piece of bacon down.”
And I know, at some point in your life you’ve howled along to that song too. It’s no use denying it, the BoMonster knows all.
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Sugar Bear Looks for Inner Tony Hawk
August 27 | 2 Comments
I’m afraid of heights.
There, I said it.
It’s a debilitating fear that’s kept me from climbing to the top of the Empire State Building, the Eiffel Tower and Yao Ming.
The hidden shame I feel watching Underdog fly through the air is debilitating. I realize my only chance at superherodog status is to keep all four paws on the ground like Scooby Doo. But I know in my heart that if I’m ever to be invited to the Hall of Justice, I need to be able to overcome my fear.
Turtle Pushed Around
August 25 | Hmmm...No Comments Yet
My parents are doing a little renovating in the basement. Believe it or not they’ve pulled up a gorgeous berber rug, with years of great smells in and on it, and replaced it with a wood floor.
That sucks.
Now I have to contend with wood floors on every level of the house.Don’t these folks know that an old pooch like me likes to be sure footed at all times?
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March of the Bald Penguin
August 19 | 1 Comment
Baldness. Some rock it, some don’t.
Rocks It: The American Hairless, The Mexican Hairless
Wouldn’t Rock a Boat: The Hollywood Hairless
Turns out the baldness phenomenon extends to the penguin class, too. That’s right, those little guys who hang loose on the freezing terrain of Antarctica are born with feathers, which they inevitably lose.
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Fish Fails to Fly Like an Eagle
August 17 | Hmmm...No Comments Yet
How do you know it’s not going to be your day?
Is it when the kibble in your breakfast bowl isn’t covered with Savory Sauce? Or is it when you go for your morning walk and you’re the one that steps in George the Labradoodle’s poo instead of your owner? Or maybe it’s when you go to fart on the bed and a poop comes out?
Any of these situations may qualify as predictors of a day filled with disappointment, but I think I found one sure fire way to tell if the day is truly going to suck.
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Perfect Pet – Perfectly Wrong
August 13 | Hmmm...No Comments Yet
I’m not quite sure what to think about today’s story.
Well, yes I do. I think the folks in the UK have a screw loose, that all the rain falling on their heads has turned their brains to mush and that the pints of warm beer aren’t damaging their livers nearly as much as their sensibilities.
How else to explain what they perceive as the perfect pet. Are you ready to hear it?
War and Peace – Canine Version
August 7 | 2 Comments
I have to give credit where credit is due.
I always thought I was the most prolific message leaver in all the world. No fire hydrant, tree or human leg was safe from my lemonade stream of consciousness.
Heck, the first draft of my book was written with this invisible ink. Fortunately for me, I didn’t lose anything because I had it backed up with a hefty aroma (just a friendly reminder for all of you out there to always back up your work).
Ella Did It, In the LR, With a Candlestick
August 4 | 2 Comments
Never let it be said that the Bo Monster doesn’t like a good sentimental story.
Oh my! I just referred to myself in the third dog. Hmm…what does that say about me? Probably that I’m a narcissistic, bigheaded blowhard.
What can I say, guilty as charged.
But I won’t let your judgmental ways get in the way of a good old fashioned touching tale.
Tortoise Survives in Hot House
August 3 | Hmmm...No Comments Yet
I’m fast. Real fast.
So fast that when I run, the friction causes huge blisters to form on my paw pads. I don’t mind, I love popping them with my mother’s knitting needles. Don’t worry, the yarn isn’t attached. If it was, I’d imagine I’d be the featured Christmas ornament for the year.
Anyway, speed kills. Just ask Dale Earnhardt, Hunter S. Thompson and Wiley E. Coyote.
You know who also knows this? A tortoise. Yeah, the same guy who’s had a long running (walking?) feud with the hare.
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