Cold Cuts Are Better Than Cold Cash

I’m not a thief. A convicted one, anyway.

I do have a habit of pilfering food from low lying tables, unmonitored plates and of course the kitty litter box. Does that make me a criminal? Hardly. It just makes me a dog.

If I were to upgrade to the big leagues in crime, I’d go after those huge meat lockers Rocky (the boxer with gloves not the boxer with drool) loved to train in.  A left and a right paw to the frozen carcass of a former milk maker precedes its journey back to my feeding lair. Ahhh…now that’s a movie I’d really like to see.

But we all start somewhere. Take for instance a couple of burglars in middle America. The Des Moines Register has their quick story.

Burglars broke into the Subway Sandwiches & Salad Shop at 2251 E. University Ave. in Des Moines on Saturday night or Sunday morning and took “a substantial amount of cold cut meats,” according to police.

Burglars also took bread and cookies and made some sandwiches for themselves before they left the building.

No money was taken. Investigators said burglars broke in through the drive-up window and removed a security cage.

Officers have no suspects. The value of the missing food items was not reported.

I know it isn’t an animal story, but hey, I write about stuff that’s funny to me. Now, back to my movie.  Maybe Sly will take Apollo Creed this time!