Parrots Get In On the Identity Theft Game
August 30 | 6 Comments
Whenever I travel I make sure to bring along multiple forms of identification.
In today’s Big Brother society I’m not allowed to go anywhere without my dog tag. Name, phone number and treat preference are easily read by those I let get close to me.
I also have a chip in my body somewhere, and I’m not talking about the potato chip I just took off of the old man’s plate.
No, this one has an identification number on it and cross references me on some list somewhere. As far as I know I’ve managed to stay off of any terrier lists.
I also have my Together Tag in case the need for emergency care presents itself. Truth be told the Together Tag trumps the standard, run of the mill dog tag, but I like to showboat my jewelry…even if it is just tin.
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Gone Fishing for Prosthetic Leg
August 29 | Hmmm...No Comments Yet
Some days I need to reach a little when it comes to animal stories to write about.
Today is one of those days, a mini drought in the veritable rainforest of goofy animal happenings.
Today’s topic, fishing.
Sadly, it’s not about a guppy or a dolphin or a shark. Heck, it’s not even about Abe Vigoda.
No, it’s about a human going fishing.
Llamas Top Dogs in Obedience Class
August 26 | Hmmm...No Comments Yet
Sit. Stay.
That’s the only thing I remember from my Good Canine Citizens Certification class, although I don’t follow the commands today.
It makes my parents feel better about themselves when they say those two words in front of people, expecting me to obey.
After a full minute of them trying to push my booty down on the ground, it invariably ends with a comment like, “He’s usually much better than this.”
Cats Are Cheaters
August 25 | Hmmm...No Comments Yet
I read the headline, stunned at its implications.
“Cat gets GED”
What’s the world coming to, I thought.
As canines we’re forced to go through the humiliation of continuing education classes.
First there’s the good canine citizen certification and basic obedience followed by intermediate and advanced classes. Then there’s the agility training and the service dog ‘electives’ to round out a pup’s credentials.
All these requirements just to be a working class dog.
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Swan Dumps Tractor for Goose
August 24 | Hmmm...No Comments Yet
We don’t always get it right the first time.
When I was young, I thought I wanted to be man’s best friend. Turned out I just wanted the treats.
Then there was my first encounter with cats at the animal shelter. They had me believing they were sweet, smart, wonderful creatures. I came to find out, you can’t wag around these creatures without your tail being attacked.
And I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the first time I had to fart in public. Read more
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Big Bird Lives With Family
August 22 | Hmmm...No Comments Yet
I never had the opportunity to watch Sesame Street while growing up.
My formative years months were spent trying to survive in the streets and in animal shelter lock downs.
I had a rough beginning so it wasn’t until I was a mature mutt that I got my first glimpse of a big, yellow bird on TV, creatively called Big Bird.
Color me unimpressed.
Monkeys To Enforce Speed Limits in China
August 21 | Hmmm...No Comments Yet
My mother got a ticket the other day for making an illegal u-turn.
Nobody saw her make it, least of all the person that broadsided her, but she was written up for it anyway.
Sure she was just making a left hand turn, and the person that hit her came from behind and hit her all the way over in the oncoming lane, but common sense has nothing to do with law enforcement.
It’s all about generating money for Big Brother.
Cow Gets Head Stuck In Ladder
August 18 | Hmmm...No Comments Yet
I’m pretty handy when it comes to work around the house.
I know that sounds surprising because Chows are known to be purchasers of handyman services rather than actual doers.It must be the Golden side of me that kicks in when projects need to be tackled around the homestead.
I do it all.
I landscape by digging holes in the front, back and Read more
Dog Jumps From Plane – Survives
August 17 | Hmmm...No Comments Yet
I’m not much of a risk taker…anymore.
At my age, I prefer the comforts of a soft bed and a body fitting pillow over a death dash with local traffic.
Let’s be honest, if I were in a hostage situation (ahem…Dog Day Afternoon, anyone?), I’d be released first, before the women and children. I guess that’s just the nature of growing old.
An old dog can learn new tricks, it’s just that he (me!) doesn’t want to.
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Orangutans Deliver Bicycle Safety Message
August 16 | Hmmm...No Comments Yet
I am afraid of monkeys.
Look at recent news events and you’ll quickly discover why. It’s quite apparent one face isn’t enough for them. They want yours too.
For a lot of people this isn’t a problem since they have two, but for me, I don’t know what I’d do without my money maker.
I understand there’s a variety of monkeys, just as there is a variety of dogs. There are the organ grinders, the sky scraper climbing gorillas, and the ones with bad haircuts that make music to match.
