Bo Knows - He Just Doesn't Listen» Funny Cat News

Cat Comes Back From The Dead

Bo — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 13:24:46 +0000

Church.

I’m not talking about the place of worship. No, friends, I’m talking about the scariest of all creatures. Specifically the cat in Stephen King’s Pet Semetary.

You may remember him as the cat that was run over by a truck in the story, buried and then summoned back to life. Once back among the ‘living’ he was anything but a normal, annoying cat.

There was something wrong, something sinister about him. It’s as if he were dead, but alive. Strange indeed, but then again he was a cat, so who could really tell?

Thank goodness this was just a story made up in the mind of Mr. King. Bringing a cat back to life; the man’s mind is truly sinister! Surely something like this couldn’t happen in the real world.

Or could it?

The Manchester Evening News has the disturbing story.

A cat has come back from the dead – NINE months after his owners buried their cherished pet.

Angelo Petrillo and wife Katy were devastated when ginger tom Alfie went missing last June.

Two weeks later, a neighbour told them Alfie had been spotted dead by the side of the slip road near junction 21 of the M62.

Angelo, 39, recognised the cat as his own and buried it in land near the family home in
Milnrow, Rochdale.

The couple, who have another cat, Freddie, moved to a house about a mile away in November.

But this week they were stunned to receive a text message from the family who moved into their old home saying a ginger tom cat was going ‘berserk’ outside and trying to get in. They said it couldn’t be their cat as Freddie was asleep and they had buried Alfie.

But the next day they had three more calls from former neighbours saying the cat was meowing all night and asking if it belonged to them. Katy, 35, a manager for a wine company, drove to the house to reassure them that it was definitely not their cat. But when she arrived, she was stunned to see Alfie.

Angelo, an energy company worker, said: “It was just unbelievable – the cat I had buried nine months earlier, the cat we spent about a month grieving over was back and my wife just couldn’t believe what she was seeing.

“I was 100 per cent certain the cat I had buried was Alfie – he had the same markings, was the same size and everything about him matched, so when my wife walked through the door with Alfie I was totally stunned – it was like he had risen from the dead.”

The couple do not know where Alfie has been living since the summer but their vet told them he probably got lost and by the time he eventually found his way home, the family had moved.

Angelo added: “It is just one in a million – we even marked ‘Alfie’s’ grave so it’s amazing he’s back.

“He’s doing really well and recovering from his ordeal.”

Cat Thinks It’s a Chick

Bo — Tue, 04 Oct 2011 13:16:07 +0000

I’m not sure what I want to become when I grow up.

Yeah I know time is running out, with me being 17 and all, but once you give up on your dream there’s not much left.

So here’s a partial list of what I’d like to become:

1) Firehouse dog

2) A father
3) First dog to catch the Chuck Wagon
4) Head of household on the family’s tax return

To some my goals may seem unachievable but as I like to think, if you aren’t stretching, you’re shrinking.

Yet to others my goals appear modest. To those folks I challenge you to compare them to a cat living his ‘dream’ in Australia. The NT News has her sto ry.

FOUR legs, two pointy ears, whiskers on his face – Bustopher might look like one, but he is far from being an ordinary cat.

The four-year-old feline thinks he’s a chook.

When Naomi Oliver’s chickens laid their eggs and didn’t show much interest in the incubation and the upbringing of their offspring, the animal-lover’s feline took over the command in the chook shed – and started incubating the eggs.

“I am not sure if he knows that he is a cat, he doesn’t really behave like one,” Mrs Oliver told the Northern Territory News.

“Bustopher often wanders around in the chook pen, playing with the chooks as if he was one of them, not a predator.”

But it wasn’t until her chooks laid a few eggs in a nest outside their shed that Mrs Oliver discovered her cat’s quirky affection for her poultry.

“I was looking for Bustopher and found him sitting on the eggs, obviously trying to incubate them,” Mrs Oliver said.

“When he was still there after three days I started wondering what was going through his head – but I am sure he thought he was doing a great job.”

Mrs Oliver said her cat only left his nest once or twice a day to grab a feed and have a nap on her bed, before heading back to his hatchlings-to-be.

If you ask me, that’s some serious prep time for a meal. I’ll stick to human treats and watching Iron Chef.

Cats Are Cheaters

Bo — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 15:16:32 +0000

I read the headline, stunned at its implications.

“Cat gets GED”

What’s the world coming to, I thought.

As canines we’re forced to go through the humiliation of continuing education classes.

First there’s the good canine citizen certification and basic obedience followed by intermediate and advanced classes. Then there’s the agility training and the service dog ‘electives’ to round out a pup’s credentials.

All these requirements just to be a working class dog.

Now I find out that felines have figured out a shortcut by going online, cheating on exams and getting their GED.

All this presumably so they can go out into the world and take jobs away from properly educated canines.

It reminds of why they call a cat scan a, uhm, cat scan. Because it’s a device used to look for something bad.

The Digital Journal has the details on this higher learning travesty.

Most cat lovers believe that their cats are smart, but how many would suspect that their pets could graduate from high school?

According to news sources, a Better Business Bureau scheme to expose Internet diploma mills has revealed that a two-year-old tuxedo cat named Oreo has received a diploma from Jefferson High School Online following a test and a $200 fee paid for by her owner, Kelvin Collins. It is suspected that she is the first in her family to graduate from school but that is a moot point as she wrote in her “life experience essay’ that she had been adopted.

In Collins own words: “Oreo’s a really smart cat… I am tickled pink to give her an opportunity to get an education.”

In the spirit of full disclosure, it must be said that while Oreo garnered mostly A’s on the online test, Collins did help Oreo with both the answers and the essay. But to be completely fair, Oreo stayed in his lap throughout the test, and Collins got a little help, too.

Meanwhile back at the ranch, Oreo remains qualified but unemployed.

We deal with puppy mills. Cats deal with diploma mills.

Where’s the justice?

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Kung Fu Kitty

Bo — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 16:26:17 +0000

I’ve never bitten anyone in my life.

Well, bitten anyone really hard, that is. I have had a nibble or two of human skin, but almost always in a playful way. The only exception being the one man that tried to kidnap me from my mother’s car when I was three. I never told my parents about the incident so this probably comes as a shock for them to read.

What can I say, when a human sees a talented dog, especially one that can type, they’re apt to want him. So it was left up to me to defend myself. The outcome was never in doubt. Anyway, he tasted like chicken and I never had the occasion to taste him again, the case of burps shortly thereafter not withstanding. Canines are correct in saying things taste better the second time around.

Which leads me to today’s story of an attack cat. That’s right a CAT attack. The Metro has the details.

Tiger, a 19-year-old black-and-white male moggy, has attacked three employees recently, pouncing on them and chasing them down the garden path.

Now Tracey Brayshaw, his owner, has been told by the postal service that her pet is aggressive and she won’t be getting deliveries to her house in Farsley for the next two weeks as a result.

Brayshaw has to pick up her mail from her local sorting office and deems the suspension of her deliveries “a bit silly”.

According to the 43-year-old, her pet is a geriatric who likes lazing in the sun and sleeps for 20 hours a day.

I think this is a cat I can be pals with.

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Retirement Home for Cats

Bo — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 16:05:51 +0000

I woke up this morning to the realization that it was a Monday.

To some it offers the opportunity of a fresh start, of a week full of accomplishments ahead. To me, it’s the dreary realization of another tough work week.

That’s right, I have the daily grind of napping, pooing, walking, napping, eating, pooing and peeing ahead of me for the next five days. Hopefully a vet visit isn’t in the cards. It ain’t easy being me, especially at my advanced age.

What I need is some pampering, the kind I get from the old man on the weekends. We sleep late in the morning, we nap together on the guest bed in the afternoons and we snore the evening away on the couch after sharing a dinner of chicken nuggets…with bbq sauce. It’s paradise, I tell ya.

If only I could do this all the time.

Turns out, cats can already do this! The Daily Telegraph has the story of some very privileged kitties.

HOMELEIGH retirement village is a perfect place to spend the twilight years, with staff to clean and cook, a garden and immaculate quarters.

But forget about signing up – unless you are a cat.

Inside a fully functional house next to Keysborough Animal Shelter in outer Melbourne, the only residents are eight aged felines.

A shelter staff member visits every morning and night to feed the moggies and human visitors pop in to spend a few hours.

Elizabeth Johns, one of the directors of the village, said the cats never fought and would roam the house and garden at will.

Ms Johns, who visits twice a week, said owners can rest easy knowing their pets will be cared for. That’s the case even if an owner dies or is incapacitated.

“You can’t often rehome a cat, especially an older cat, and people want peace of mind,” she said.

To become a resident, cats must be at least eight years old and owners must donate $6000 to cover expenses for the cat’s life.

Hmmm…I wonder whether the age requirement is for the first life or the ninth?

Fat Cat is Really a Fat Pig

Bo — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 18:23:47 +0000

Rigitoni? Linguine? Fettuccine?

No thanks. If I’m going to partake in the heaven known as pasta, I’m going to select one that says something about me. That’s right, when dining on Italian cuisine, I opt for pasta number 9…better known as Angel Hair pasta.

Let’s be honest, not only do I have an angelic disposition, but my long strands of fur are to die for!

I like my dish with a little clam, hamster or squirrel sauce on top. Over all these years, the only thing that’s changed is rather than having it cooked al dante I now prefer my pasta cooked to a gooey mush. Simple reason, really. Much like Michael Scott, I’ve developed soft teeth.

But no matter how much I enjoy eating pasta, the best come out of styrofoam containers, my parents don’t like giving me too much. I just wish I had parents like Humphrey the cat. The Metro UK will tell you why.

Humphrey is a real-life Garfield, who will only eat lasagne. The picky cat’s love affair with the pasta dish began after sneaking a bite of his owner’s leftovers.

‘For a week he wouldn’t eat anything I gave him. But a few days later I cooked some more lasagne and he came running,’ said 30-year-old Sophia Atrill, from north London.

She has now entered the stubborn seven-year-old for the Boomerang TV Pet Personality Awards.

‘I have no children – he is my baby and if it’s lasagne that he wants then it’s lasagne he will get,’ she said.

Hmm, maybe I should hold out for some of my mother’s leftovers. But then again why would I restrict my diet to Ramen Pride Noodles?

Penguin Watching Cat Catches Train

Bo — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 17:55:16 +0000

“I hear the train a comin’. It’s rollin ’round the bend. And I ain’t seen the sunshine since, I don’t know when.”

Fans of the Man in Black will recognize those words from the classic tune, Folsom Prison Blues.

No, I’m not in prison, although I have fantasized about shooting a man in Reno, just to watch him die.

I guess that’s not 100% true. I’ve fantasized about shooting a man, not in Reno, but right here in Atlanta, and that man is my father.

Not surprisingly this repeated fantasy occurs every time that SOB tickles my toe fur when I doze off.

I’m so lacking in sleep because of this, I can’t even make a connection from the intro to the story about Percy, a commuter cat. In fact, I’m just going to cut it short and have you read the Scarborough Evening News about his tale.

PERCY the cat is the North Bay Railway’s most purrfect passenger as he uses the train weekly to travel to Scarborough’s Sea Life Centre.

Scarborough’s smartest cat catches the train on its own and spends the day at the Sea Life Centre before travelling home using the popular service.

He has no help and even knows the train times. He has been making the trip for the last four years.

Staff at the Sea Life Centre say they see him most weeks wandering around before he gets on the train home.

“He gets on the train in the morning and then spends the day with us. He just wanders around and when a member of the public comes in and opens the door he sneaks through.

“He loves it here. He particularly likes watching the penguins but unfortunately they get scared of him so we have to move him away. But he is harmless.

“He always knows when the train is coming as well. He is a very smart cat.”

Smart cat? Now that’s an oxymoron if I’ve ever heard one.

Escaped Cat Strolls on Live TV Set

Bo — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 15:21:39 +0000

I’m an escape artist. Always have been, and I suspect, always will be.

The key to being an expert is to maintain a low profile. For instance when I dig under the fence to get out, I’ll dig a little each time I’m let outside making sure that no one is watching me. After a few ‘gotta go pee-pee’ adventures outside and I’ve dug a hole big enough to crawl under.

Then I’m free!

Of course it doesn’t end there. I’ll make sure to stay in the woods, or far enough behind the back yards of my neighbors so I’m not seen. It’s called low profiling and will extend your free time by hours.

Clearly the cat in today’s story is not aware of the low profiling technique, for after its escape, it was caught on TV on a live program. The Telegraph has the full details.

Tango appeared on screen on BBC1′s Question Time as David Dimbleby, politicians and pundits discussed topics as diverse as the wearing of burkhas, the situation in Iran and MP’s expenses.

The cat strolled into the studio as the show was being broadcast from Newquay, Cornwall, on Thursday evening.

The show was broadcast from Treviglas community college, where Ms Ellery works.

Recording was underway Tango crept in through a back door, ducked under a television mixing desk and made his way under the assembled seating.

Guests included Jim Knight, Minister for employment and welfare reform, Pauline Neville-Jones, Conservative shadow security minister, and Kelvin MacKenzie, former editor of The Sun

Tango appeared on set strolling around the back of the panel unnoticed or ignored by all except local Liberal Democrat MP Julia Goldsworthy.

A stage manager then grabbed the cat and returned him to the outdoors.

Ms Ellery, a mother-of-two who works in the school canteen and lives nearby, was watching Question Time from the comfort of her living room when the one-year-old tom appeared on screen.

“My friend phoned me up to say ‘have you seen your cat on the telly”, she said. “I’d been doing something else at the time but rewound it and there he was.

“It’s lovely – he’s a mischievous cat anyway and because we live so close to the school he’s often in school grounds.”

She’s not as talented as Susan Boyle, but is better looking.

Here’s the video of Tango in action.

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Cat Evicted from Post Office Home

Bo — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 16:51:37 +0000

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…cats are free loaders.

They don’t protect you, they don’t hunt for you and they certainly don’t love you. If you think otherwise, then you’ve been hitting the catnip a bit too hard.

Humans, however, fall for these lying furballs all the time.

It was bad enough I had to read about Dewey, the freakin cat, that made itself at home in a local library. I can live with that, but I can’t live with the fact he made a $1.5MM advance on his book. Makes the advance I got (three medium sized milkbones), seem small by comparison.

Now I see there’s a copy cat (yeah, pun intended) in Alabama.

WKYC has all the details.

NOTASULA, AL — Residents of the tiny Alabama town of Notasulga are rallying around a local fixture after his eviction from the post office.

“Sammy” the cat was banned from the building after someone wrote in to complain about the cat’s presence.

“They said ‘This is a federal building and he doesn’t pay federal taxes so he can’t come in’,” said postal worker Rochelle Langford.

Before his banishment Sammy spent most of his time lounging in the post office’s window.

Sammy’s supporters think they’ve found a way to move him safely back in.

They’ve rented a P.O. box in his name.

Post office workers say they’ll allow Sammy back in, but will try to keep him out of the way of customers.

Federal officials declined to comment on the rumor that dog drool was found on the letter ‘outing’ Sammy.

Here’s some video goodness showing Sammy in action…

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Miracle On 34th Floor

Bo — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 16:17:13 +0000

It’s a bird. It’s a plane. It’s Under…Cat?

I’ll be the first to tell you, I don’t like heights. I much prefer to have my fuzzy toes touching Mother Earth. In fact, I like to get closer to her chewy center by digging. Of course, the cynical dog out there will think I do it so I can dig out under the fence. Sure they’re right, but who are they to judge?

Anyway, cats are different, especially a cat called Voodoo living in the land down under.

Check out this story…

With a name like Voodoo, a 34-floor plunge from a penthouse could well put a vengeful end to a meddling cat’s life.

But Voodoo the Manx cat survived his mighty descent with only a sore paw.

The staggering fall was cushioned by a bush and left the seven-year-old feline with just a blood shot eye, some scratches and a respectable eight remaining lives.

Sheree Washington said he often teetered on the edge of the balcony of their tower block home on Queensland’s Gold Coast in Australia.

But she and husband Wayne became concerned after they noticed Voodoo was missing after dinner on Monday.

‘We searched high and low several times and he was nowhere to be found,’ said Mr Washington.

On Tuesday morning, Sheree made the journey downstairs, expecting to find her beloved pet’s body at the base of the high rise.

But instead she found Voodoo with nothing more than a few scratches.

‘I just saw him lying under the bushes,’ she said.

‘He was just crouched back in the corner.’

Voodoo had fallen 34 floors and landed on a bush, Mrs Washington said, discounting any possibility that he could have caught the elevator or walked down stairs.

Several branches were snapped, clearly indicating where Voodoo had landed.

But, miraculously, Voodoo walked away from the incident with a bloodshot eye, a scratched ear, a cut mouth and a damaged paw.

Sounds to me like UnderCat is going to have to work on his landings.