Bo Knows - He Just Doesn't Listen» Funny Dog News

Dog Rescued From Can of Cat Food

Bo — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 10:49:08 +0000

You ever get so hungry you’d eat cat poop?

I know I have, but sometimes the litter box is empty forcing me to scrounge around the house looking for alternatives.

I’ll check under the couch cushions (the old man is a slob and lots of food gets stuck there, along with a lot of change), on top of short tables and even go so far as to check the bathroom floor.

Of course my personal favorite thing to do when I’m at starvation death’s door is to go the way of the garbage pail. I knock it over, spread around the goodies and feast on rotting, leftover human food. Mmmm, tasty.

I read this morning of a very young pup who’s well on his way of following me in my paw prints. It made me proud to read the North West Evening Mail tell the story.

Irene Thompson woke at 7.30am on Tuesday to find her kitchen had been ransacked by her German Shepherd, Tia.

She then discovered one of her three-week-old ‘German Shepusky’ puppies – cross-bred husky and German Shepherd puppies – in distress.

A crew from Barrow fire station had to cut the unnamed pup free after it got stuck in an empty tin of Mrs Thompson’s cat Spice’s food.

Mrs Thompson, of Dalton Road, Askam, said: “I got up and it was devastation in my kitchen.

“The mother had eaten a bag of dog biscuits.

“I looked down and this little puppy had her head stuck in a tin, just a normal-sized tin of Whiskas cat food.

“I tried pulling it off but she started making these little noises.

“I had to puncture a hole in the tin so she could breathe.”

Mrs Thompson then called a friend, who rang the fire brigade to see if they could help.

Minutes later, a fire officer from Barrow’s white watch had arrived at Mrs Thompson’s house.

She said: “A fire chief came in his car and said a fire engine would be there soon.

“A full crew were there.

“They cut the rim of the tin and then pulled it back.

“I would never have been able to do that myself because I have arthritis.

“She [the puppy] was very brave throughout it.

“I can’t thank them [the firefighters] enough.”

The tough mutt escaped her ordeal unharmed.

The pup, who gained the nickname Whiskas from the incident, is part of a litter of 11.

Don’t judge…this could just as easily have happened to a cat or more likely, a pygmy goat.

Here’s a link to the video.

Don’t Poo Poo DNA Evidence

Bo — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 13:09:53 +0000

I remember the good old days when the only thing watching me was my parents, and then only for a moment or two.

You see, they’d lose interest quickly after letting me outside to do my business in the fenced in yard. I always helped my cause by laying down after my initial burst of energy. Of course I was faking being tired since there was exploring to do.

After enough time had lapsed, I’d head to the fence at the back of the property and dig out underneath it. Just like that, I’d be free to roam the streets of suburbia for the day. Good times, my friends, good times.

Those days of going ‘freestyle’ are quickly coming to an end, not only for me, but for everyone. We now have cameras monitoring our every move, gps tracking collars around our necks and bodies embedded with microchips.

There’s even rumor I’ll be taxed for every yard I run through! What’s society coming to?

Here’s a hint of the next stage of government imposition being thrust upon us…check out what’s happening in Germany.

A German lawmaker proposed on Monday a novel and high-tech way of dealing with the menace of dog poo on the streets: DNA testing to identify the canine culprit and fine its owner.

Peter Stein, a conservative politician in eastern Germany, told AFP that under his proposal, officials would test the excrement and then match it up to the offending dog using a DNA database of all pooches.

German dog owners are fined 30-40 euros (40-50 dollars) if they fail to clean up after their pets, but very few are caught, with only four fines given out in Stein’s hometown of Rostock — human population 200,000 — last year.

“Just saying ‘it wasn’t my dog’ will not wash any more,” Stein said.

I gotta go. I’ve got some cleaning up to do.

Tree Climbing Dog Forgets “Down” Command

Bo — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 14:28:34 +0000

Focus. It’s not just a car made by Ford.

It’s a skill that allows some to be better than others.

We’ve all experienced moments of intense concentration, where both time and space cease to exist. For me this mostly happens when there’s a beef stroganoff frozen dinner being cooked.

For others, this zen-like state is brought on by the thrill of a hunt.

That’s my theory anyway, for there isn’t any other way to explain this story.

KNOXVILLE, Tenn. – A Tennessee family’s young hound dog may turn out to be quite the bird dog.

“Buford”, a 5-month-old hound mix, had to be rescued by utility crews after somehow climbing to the top of a 20-foot tree in his family’s Knoxville yard.

No one saw Buford make his way up the tree, but by the time his rescuers returned him to the ground a small crowd had gathered.

Tyler Wilson, Buford’s owner, says he’s never seen anything like it.

Climbing trees isn’t just for cats anymore, and if I have my way they won’t be the only ones pooping in the house either.

Here’s the video of the rescue:

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Stress Test

Bo — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 14:59:39 +0000

I never put much stock in book learnin’.

Maybe it’s because I never went to college. Truth be told I never went to high school either, or even obedience training. I’m a dog from the streets, using common sense to get me where I am today.

Undoubtedly I’ve missed out on some great experiences: Guzzling water straight from a funnel while my brothers in arms chant “Chug, Chug, Chug!”, adding the freshman 15 with late night pizza treat delivery binges and going cow tipping instead of studying for the midterm sit/stay exam. Ahh, if only we were able to go back in time and choose differently.

But maybe it’s not too late. I could head to Wisconsin and partake in their finals week. It appears dogs are welcome there. Here’s the story.

Library Mall is going to the dogs, and stressed-out students will be glad for it.

The Pet Therapy study break on the University of Wisconsin-Madison campus will be on Wednesday from 3:30 to 5 p.m. on Library Mall at the western end of State Street, with staff from University Health Services bringing their dogs to the mall so students can pet and play with the puppies.

The “counseling canines” are intended to reduce the stress that students can feel heading into final exams.

“Taking brief study breaks, even five minutes an hour, can reduce stress and help you recall information,” said Rob Sepich, student relations manager at UHS.

Believe it or not, sleep should be a top priority, and the “all-nighter” should be shunned, UHS says.

How can you reduce stress during finals?

UHS recommends setting attainable goals by striving for excellence instead of perfection. Also, lay off the caffeine, try to attain success rather than avoiding failure, find something to laugh about, tell yourself you have enough time instead of wasting time dwelling on how little time is left, and ask for assistance through stressed-out times by turning to friends, family, faculty and UHS staff.

UW-Madison students can get one-on-one counseling for free at UHS by calling 265-5600. Massage therapy costing $40 for 50 minutes is also available by calling the same number or going online through “MyUHS.”

Additionally, UW-Madison students can give me massage therapy and I won’t charge a thing. Now that’s a happy ending.

photo by: Michelle Stocker/The Capital Times

Hole in One for Dog

Bo — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 18:14:26 +0000

I’ve received lots of email from readers that claim I’m too pro-dog, anti-cat biased.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

As evidence take my sister Mothball (please). Yes she of the feline variety, is a key member of the BoKnowsOnline leadership cabinet. She’s responsible for editing all cat related stories. In fact, she designed the cat-carrier for kittens.

In fact, she picked out today’s story, and it does nothing to make canines look good. It’s about Daisy, a hole in the wall and a rescue effort.

The Evening Star has the details.

FIREFIGHTERS had to rescue Daisy the dog when the dozy hound got her head stuck in a vent.

Black and white Staffordshire terrier Daisy poked her head into a round hole which is used as a tumble dryer vent, Cambridgeshire Fire and Rescue Service said.

A fire crew from St Neots had to remove some bricks from the outside of the property and then “gently” chiselled away at the area of wall surrounding the dog’s head to free her, an operation which talk [sic] 30 minutes.

Daisy was unharmed, apart from a couple of scratches to her face which she got trying to free herself.

Kevin Napier, watch manager at St Neots fire station, said: “She even gave us all lots of licks to say thank you.

“She has now been checked over by a vet and given a clean bill of health.”

Asked if she was embarrassed by the situation, Daisy said, “It could have been worse. I could be a cat.”

Help Refused to Dog Who Dialed Emergency Line

Bo — Thu, 21 May 2009 04:22:00 +0000

I remember being a young pup and the accompanying lack of self confidence I felt when approaching cute, chick pups to chat them up.

My head was too big for my body, my paws were like mitts on a baby and my bark had yet to change to the deep masculine one I now sport. In addition to that I couldn’t trust what came out of my mouth, if anything at all.

If that doesn’t make you feel like a l-o-s-e-r, nothing will.

That’s why I preferred to do my talking to the ladies one on one, and it was best done over the phone. That way if I were rejected, or made a cat out of myself, the pain would be minimal. Sure I’d still put my tail between my legs and race to the fridge to pig out on a quart of Frozen Paws ice cream, but at least I didn’t ruin my chances with other potential mates.

I bring this up only because I read an article this morning about a golden retriever trying to get some alone time, no doubt to call his girl, on his owner’s phone. The Metro UK has all the details.

A 999 call in which the operator heard muffled voices, whining and a man shouting before the line went dead turned out to be from a dog.

Initially, communications officers heard the man shouting, “Come out or else, I’m warning you!” followed by whimpering and feared they may be dealing with a violent domestic incident.

An operator called the number back and a woman at the other end explained that there was no raging husband but that a golden retriever was to blame.

Jodie Halfpenny’s 14-month-old dog Bailey had grabbed the home phone in his mouth and scampered off into the garden to chew it, she explained.

Jodie, 20, from Withington, Herefordshire, and her partner Jamie gave chase, but Bailey tried to hide behind the garden shed and – as he gripped the handset between his teeth – he bit down on the number nine button three times.

The call, made on Monday afternoon, came through to the operator as Bailey got temporarily stuck behind the shed and the human voices urged him to come out.

His pursuers then wrenched the phone from his jaws and the line went dead.

Jodie said the officer did not initially trust the 999 call was made by a dog.

“I don’t think the policeman who rang later believed me at first when I told him what all the screaming was about. He was very serious,” she told the Mirror.

A spokesman for West Mercia Constabulary said: “Staff thought they had a violent domestic or even a potential murder on their hands.

“Operators heard muffled voices talking, and man shouting ‘Come out or else, I’m warning you!’, accompanied by the sound of whining. Then the line went dead. For a few moments, they wondered what sort of incident they were dealing with.

This type of abuse is a national tragedy and the most unreported crime of this generation. How many dogs need to be threatened with the ‘Leave It’ command before something is done!

The Hotel New Havernese

Bo — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 14:38:46 +0000

Let’s be honest with each other. Work sucks.

Do you know of any dogs that actually enjoy their jobs? Sure Rufus may look like he enjoys snatching a biscuit from his nose, but he ain’t having any fun. Sunshine rolling over for a treat? A blow to her self esteem. She might as well be working the pole.

Maybe the trick to happy employment is to do something non-traditional?

The following article explores that idea, highlighting one dog’s pursuit of a career less smelled…

These days, Dillon is working like a dog at Kimpton’s Hotel Burnham. You won’t hear him bitching about it though.

The 4-year-old bulldog is the new director of pet relations, serving as ambassador for pets at the hotel at 1 W. Washington. Stationed in the hotel’s living room, Dillon greets travelers, poses for photos with guests and helps provide treats to traveling pets. “We’re die-hard about our pets,” spokeswoman Jennifer Navarro said.

Dillon got the gig by following his owner, new general manager Duncan Clements, to the hotel from Dallas, where the bulldog served in pet relations at Kimpton’s Hotel Lumen.

Regardless of career, it all comes down to who you know rather than what you know.

Here Comes the Woof

Bo — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 16:00:34 +0000

They say a marriage has a 50% chance of succeeding. If you’re under the age of 20, and you get married that rate skyrockets to 112% (Google it! When you find the real percentage, let me know.)

Even with those odds against him, an 18 month old toddler (wise beyond his months) has wed a dog. It seems we all feel like cheerios taste better when shared with those we love.

However, contrary to popular belief, this wasn’t an arranged marriage or done for companionship but rather for something much different.

It’s best if you read it for yourself.

A toddler has married a dog in a bid to protect him from being killed by a tiger.

The 18-month-old child, Sangula Munda, wed the dog at a Hindu temple in India on the orders of his superstitious parents.

They were worried that a tooth growing from his upper gum was an omen he would be killed by a tiger.

The bridal dog reportedly wore two silver rings and a silver chain.

My father tells me that when he go married he got a choke collar too.

Bilbo Hasselhoff to the Rescue

Bo — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 19:44:29 +0000

David Hasselhoff is allowed there, but you aren’t.

Gidget has her blanket laid out there, but your dog bed isn’t anywhere to be found.

Kerri Walsh and Misty May Treanor hammer balls home on this court, but you aren’t allowed to chase them.

What, or more specifically, where am I talking about? Well it’s the beach, and get this, it’s in the the UK.

You may remember the story from last summer about Bilbo, the Newfoundland lifeguard that was fired from his job because all dogs were banned from the beach.

Well it appears he’s done being lazy and wants his job back. The Metro has the details.

The only lifeguard dog in Britain is starring in a video appeal to Gordon Brown to get his job back.

Bilbo, a 90kg (14stone) Newfoundland, was banned from his beach and is in a short, Baywatch-style film sent to No. 10.

A Facebook group has also been set up for the dog, which has helped rescue dozens of people.

Bilbo is no longer allowed on Sennen Beach in Cornwall because of a ban on dogs.

‘He saves lives. He is no gimmick,’ said Bilbo campaigner Janeta Hevizi.

Here’s Bilbo in action…back when he was a working dog.

If you can’t see the video in your RSS feed, then click here.

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Chocolate Lab Loves Chocolate Water

Bo — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 19:09:35 +0000

There are few humans who are true heroes in my mind; Billy Purina, Tommy Treat and Carrie Kong are the only ones that come to mind.

Well I need to add a police officer from Kalama, Washington to that list. Although a dog would have had no problem jumping into the fray if the situation was reversed, for a human to jump in is unheard of.

Well, unheard of if your name isn’t Norton.

I think it’s best if you just read the story for yourself.

A Kalama police officer soiled his uniform rescuing a stray dog from drowning in tank of sewage at the city’s sewage treatment plant Tuesday when the water-loving pup dove in for a swim.

No one was hurt, but both parties required extensive bathing afterward, said Kalama Police Chief Bruce Hall.

“The officer did his duty in someone else’s doody,” Hall cracked Tuesday evening.

Tuesday afternoon, Officer Jeff Skeie (pronounced “Shay-ah”) was on kennel-cleaning duty at the city’s small animal shelter. Skeie, a former Castle Rock city councilman who has been with the Kalama police force three years, allowed two dogs out of their pens into the fenced yard to exercise and play together.

One of the dogs was a young, energetic chocolate Labrador retriever police had picked up as a stray about two weeks earlier. The Lab was scheduled to be adopted out that afternoon.

The chocolate Lab bounded up the steps leading to the digester [sewage container]. Skeie hollered at him to stop, but the dog flung himself joyfully into the brown soup “just like any dog jumping into a swimming pool,” the officer said.

The dog started paddling, but because the tank is pumped with air bubbles, he wasn’t buoyant.

He pulled the dog to the wall and hauled him out by the scruff of the neck, smearing “bio-solids” all over the sleeves of his uniform.

Then the wet dog shook himself vigorously, spraying Skeie head to toe in liquid sewage.

The not-so-sweet smelling officer gave himself and the dog a quick rinse at the outdoor faucet before going home for a long shower. About an hour later, the stray dog’s new adoptive owner, Gretchen Procop, arrived to take the chocolate Lab home.

She named him “Hershey.”

I can’t come up with a better last line than that.